were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
