In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
