I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so let's talk penis.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs