Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high