well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.