oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"