Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.

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  (781): tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner. http://tfl.nu/1bdt
  Replies (20) Good night (770) Bad night (6422)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?

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  (617): what date should I let him know how fucked up I am? http://tfl.nu/6aws
  Replies (17) Good night (1242) Bad night (4172)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.

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  (+44): I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't. http://tfl.nu/8pi1
  Replies (15) Good night (2853) Bad night (1919)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.

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  (206): Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it. http://tfl.nu/rqou
  Replies (9) Good night (1234) Bad night (2973)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.

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  (610): So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though. http://tfl.nu/xgce
  Replies (5) Good night (2294) Bad night (1375)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right

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  (717): he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right http://tfl.nu/bx9n
  Replies (8) Good night (1332) Bad night (1989)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.

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  (601): I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?" (601): Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success. http://tfl.nu/blht
  Replies (5) Good night (1927) Bad night (561)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.

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  (774): I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it. http://tfl.nu/ttfm
  Replies (27) Good night (4704) Bad night (930)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.

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  (770): When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first. http://tfl.nu/jx84
  Replies (5) Good night (986) Bad night (389)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....

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  (248): His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice.... http://tfl.nu/0jbe
  Replies (1) Good night (556) Bad night (1247)
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  (707): View more from California

  They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield

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  (707): They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield http://tfl.nu/3a5d
  Replies (7) Good night (1500) Bad night (381)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.

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  (248): It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk. http://tfl.nu/m630
  Replies (7) Good night (1327) Bad night (314)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?

  (650): View more from California

  I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.

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  (801): You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address? (650): I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days. http://tfl.nu/fel9
  Replies (3) Good night (952) Bad night (325)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.

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  (708): Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid (1-708): I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for. http://tfl.nu/mlt7
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (227)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now

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  (908): He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now http://tfl.nu/rqph
  Replies (2) Good night (402) Bad night (290)

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