Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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