Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
