I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
