I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
there was a trapeze. enough said
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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