You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
