Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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