Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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