Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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