I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
