so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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