do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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