Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's rum buckets o'clock
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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