how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
