actually, I'm a sock model
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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