Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
