so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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