She went from zero to smokin in five shots
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize