Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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