Don't you send me to vm
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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