It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
