discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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