he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
