Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize