I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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