I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
