Christians are straight up FREAKS
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
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Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
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You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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