Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
