im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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