So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
