I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
