: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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