using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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