we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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