we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
