sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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