Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
