did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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