Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize