Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Randomize
