I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize