But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
