I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
