Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
