It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
