are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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