I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
