I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sext me about skeletons
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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