My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
