It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
