batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
