i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
