Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
