White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
