yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
