if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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