Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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