I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
