That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
