By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
