actually, I'm a sock model
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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