why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
