he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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