She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
