did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
