i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
