The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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